Man Seeks Woman 2, Man Seeks Wife Page 7

  Sebastian sucked in a breath and let that final sentence rattle around in his mind. Ralph was one of the selected few men in his life who could get away with talking to him like that and telling him the way of the world without Sebastian taking insult to it. Many others wouldn’t dare, not if they knew what was good for them...and their business.

  Thoughts, images, and words zipped through his head, over and over again. Victoria stained thoughts, images and words.

  Realisation was a bitch.

  It slammed into him so hard, it took his breath away. His eyes closed as his head dropped back against the headrest, his heart beating heavily with the realisation that he’d hurt the best thing in his life and for what?

  For absolutely nothing, not really.

  He could blame Naomi, he could blame Jacob and he could blame anybody he wanted, really. In reality, at the end of the day when all the dust settled, there was only one person to blame here and that was Sebastian.

  “So, Ralph.” Sebastian asked feeling utterly defeated. “What do I do?”

  Another pride nosedive.

  “What do you mean?” Ralph asked, sounding confused.

  “How do I show her that I’m not the man she thinks I am? How do I get her to believe me without sticking my foot right into the pile of shit I’ve built?”

  Ralph seemed to think this over, his eyes becoming unfocused for a short time before focusing back on Sebastian. “Time alone,” He said eventually, his mouth twisting to the side. “It needs to be just the two of you without any interference, and no interruptions. Neither of you need me nor Rosa in the way. Again, I reiterate, it needs to be you and Victoria. You need to show her that the only thing that matters in this world is her.”

  “What every woman wants, huh?” Sebastian joked, trying to remove the burning feeling in the middle of his chest.

  “There you go again with that cocky arrogant attitude. This isn’t a joke and nor is Victoria. If you carry on like this, then you don’t deserve anything or her at all.”

  Again, Ralph’s words were like mini tornadoes spinning and creating carnage in his head. Thoughts and feelings that he would never have associated with were coming to the surface, showing themselves all because he was too stupid and too conceited to see the truth.

  The truth was that Victoria was away from him and was aiming to stay like that, all because of himself, all because of his behaviour. He was practically his own ticking time bomb and his own worst enemy.

  “So what you’re saying is that I’ve got to forget who Sebastian is in the sense of the businessman he is and strip down to the real me that came before all the money, before all the everything and show her who I really am?”

  That sounded a lot easier than could possibly be.

  Ralph shook his head, his eyes rolling slightly in what was probably annoyance. “No, you’ve just got to do one single thing.”

  Sebastian’s brows pulled together. He really wasn’t getting this female to male stuff. “What’s that?”

  “Just be you.”

  Chapter Eight

  Where are your clothes?

  I raised the bottle in my hand and squinted through my glazed eyes at the amount of drink left. I was sure I was seeing only a quarter in the bottom of the bottle. Wasn’t there a whole bottle a minute ago?

  I shrugged, slugging more of the vile watermelon flavoured vodka back. It dribbled from my mouth and dripped off my chin. “What does it matter anyhow?” I slurred.

  “Wait.” I screeched, taking the bottle from my lips with a slosh. “I didn’t toast myself.”

  Raising the bottle again, I held it up high as I stood up; wobbling on the spot, glaring at the bright light fixture above me that was shining directly into my eyes. Did the thing have to be so bright? “To me,” I boomed. “The most unluckiest and pathetic person known to man,” I shouted loud and freaking proud. “I have no money, no job, no man, no hole filler, no batteries for my vibrator that I know is on its last legs anyway and now,” I whimpered sadly like a beaten animal as my chin dropped to my chest. “No home.”

  That was right; I had or was going to have no home. Going by what the letter said in the big white envelope with the blood red Court stamp on the front of it, that I was to lose the home that I’d called a shit hole for as long as I could remember, in twenty eight days.

  Yep, twenty eight days I had before the men in whatever coloured coats were coming to move me on. To where, I had no fucking clue.

  It was stinking Christmas and God, I hated Christmas with a vengeance anyway and now, I hated it even more because I was going to be homeless. Just bloody great!

  “Well, things couldn’t get any worse; let’s just hope they got better.” I muttered as I bought the vodka back to my lips and sucked another mouthful down.

  I gasped and wanted to spit the shit out but that would be wasteful and I certainly wasn’t that and it was vodka at the end of the day, just a really cheap and nasty type of vodka.

  A burp came up and burned like a bitch because I’d eaten almost a full tub of toffee fudge ice cream and three bars of fruit and nut and drunk nearly a litre of that tasteless shit. I rubbed at my chest, feeling the sickness beginning to take effect. Really this was good in a way because it meant that I might actually pass out then wake up to this day being a nightmare.

  Somewhere in my mind though through the fog of shit and haziness, something was telling me no, this was no nightmare, it was real life.

  Real life sucked.

  I slumped back down onto my threadbare sofa, feeling the springs protesting underneath my arse and whimpered again, wanting to cry but feeling no tears coming on. If I cried, maybe I would feel better?

  Nah, I never felt anything but nasty after a good cry.

  Maybe I was deformed or something? I’d read in a magazine somewhere that for a woman to cry daily or weekly or something or another was good for the soul and mind. Well, I guess mine was blackened or missing or whatever because me and crying just didn’t add up well up until recently due to a certain person.

  “Oh hell,” I muttered as my head dropped back against the thin cushion under my neck. Just the thought of Sebastian had my womb beginning to heat, my stomach quivering from remembrance of his touch and my clit starting to throb in time with my heartbeat that was now, building up its rhythm.

  What if I touched myself? What if I dug through my remotes and nicked the double A batteries for my last legs vibrator and had me a good time?

  But then come to think about it, the only reason why my vibrator that I’d paid an extortionate amount of money for four months ago was just barely buzzing and moving was because every time I’d used it, only one man came to mind and for some fucking reason, I just couldn’t get that edge that I knew that particular man could get me to, myself.

  “Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian.” I whispered in the quietness of my living room, frightened that saying it out loud would make him appear in front of me, therefore enabling me to beg him like a wanton to take his trousers off and unleash that big piece of meat between his legs and stab me with it until I couldn’t speak, couldn’t walk and couldn’t think about anything else but blackness.

  God, that sounded so freaking good.

  My thoughts went back to work earlier when we’d had our little thing. The renewed picture of Sebastian’s cock invaded my mind. The picture I visualised was it bobbing between his legs, heavy and ready for me. I bit my bottom lip as I squirmed on the sofa, my bare centre rubbing against the insides of my trousers. The seam of my grey bottoms sliding against my now throbbing clit had my eyes drifting closed and more images of Sebastian’s hands rubbing up and down his length, smearing his sap around the head then using it as lube to grease his stiffness.

  Knock, knock.

  It took a minute to understand what I’d just heard, for the sound to penetrate my dazed and sex starved brain. Someone was knocking at my door. Whoever the hell it was could just go and buzz off. I wanted to be alone in my pity party
. Well unless whoever it was had more drink that tasted better than watermelon, I might think about letting them in. Oh and a nice big cock that resembled a certain man’s.

  Whoever said that watermelon belonged with vodka was cuckoo.

  Knock, knock.

  The intense sound came again, interrupting my little arguments I was having with myself. “For God’s sake,” With a growl, I pushed up from the sofa and tripped over the end of my piece of shit coffee table and went flying. Who the hell put that there?

  My hands came out to save me and hit the doorframe. I held on for dear life as I teetered back and fourth due to the obscene amount of alcohol in my system. A giggle escaped me as I thrust one leg forward in an attempt to steady myself and move to the door that whoever was on the other side of, knocked again.

  “Alright,” I grumbled. “God damn it, hold your freaking horses.” Woman had to move.

  Blinking past the fogginess in my eyes, I instructed my body to move in the direction of the door.

  Slowly but surely, I got there...eventually and leaned against the cold wood. I pressed my hands flat against the painted surface and squinted one eye closed to see through the peep hole. I blinked when my eyes refused to focus.

  I’m sure I was seeing a man but I couldn’t be too sure. The darkness surrounding him wasn’t helping me but then neither was the cheap alcohol either.

  “Who is it?” I shouted or did I slur?

  A muffled response came as the person knocked on the door again.

  I clucked my tongue and pulled the chain back then unclipped the catch. I was surprised I could do that so quickly. Smiling to myself, I pulled the door open and stuck my head around the thickness of the wood and froze. I don’t even think I blinked.

  Hot damn!

  “Hello, Victoria.”

  That was Sebastian? The hotness in front of me was Sebastian?

  “Where are your clothes?” I asked stupidly as my gaze ate him up because he looked fucking delicious even with my drunk filled eyesight.

  Sebastian chuckled, seemingly nervously and shuffled on the spot. “I’m wearing them.”

  Oh no he freaking wasn’t.

  This was a different Sebastian. Gone was the pressed to hell shirts and the expensive suits with Italian leather shoes. No, this male in front of me wore a black leather jacket that I knew was real even just looking at it, a v neck black cashmere jumper that moulded to his chest like a second skin, a pair of dark blue twisted jeans that made me bite my lip over because they looked fucking delicious as fuck and a pair of ruffed and ready black boots that seemed to have seen better days or perhaps they were supposed to look like that.

  “Finished?” he asked, smirking.

  I licked my suddenly dry lips. “Huh?”

  He moved towards the door, his hand pushing it open as he stepped inside, stepping inside my space. My eyes closed and may have rolled to the back of my head when I got a whiff of his aftershave, mixed with the leather of his jacket. This was different to what he normally wore. The stuff I associated with Sebastian was woody and fresh; this smell was irresistible and manly and made me want to jump his bones right here, right now.

  His smell, his look, his everything right now made the old jogging bottoms I wore stick to my pussy lips and the insides of my thighs as more cream—Sebastian induced cream leaked out from within me.

  Sebastian leaned into my space, pressing his hands to my hips where he subtly moved me away from the door. He then removed one of his hands and closed the door, locking the catch into place then sliding the chain across afterwards. He then turned to me and leaned into me so our faces were inches apart.

  I could see that his normally smooth as butter face was now coated with a slight stubble, very unlike Sebastian. His eyes that were normally the colour of the ocean were deep and inviting, wanting even and his whole demeanour screamed something but I don’t know what.

  Swallowing loudly, I raised my hands and placed them on his chest feeling the thickness and quality of the leather under my fingers. “What are you doing here?”

  “That’s a good question.” He answered slowly, making me frown. “I’m here for a multitude of reasons but one more important than the rest.”

  “Oh?”

  He nodded and raised his hand. His index finger came out and traced a line down my face, across my brows and down my nose until he hit my mouth where he traced the outline of my lips before pressing down on my bottom lip, making my mouth open. He pushed his finger gently inside until my tongue came into contact with his digit.

  I licked and sucked at his finger watching his eyes flare and his teeth suck in his own bottom lip, a bottom lip that I wanted to nibble and suck myself. Right about now.

  “I’ve come to apologise.”

  His finger in my mouth dropped out with a pop as my brows drew together. I licked my lips and blinked slowly. “Apologise?”

  Was this really the same Sebastian Blackwell that I knew or rather didn’t know?

  “Yes.” He nodded and took a deep breath, his eyes becoming warier by the minute. “I’ve come to talk and apologise for everything that I’ve done to you and hope that we can get back on the path to becoming something good.” He said. Now that he’d finished that little bit of explaining, he looked utterly relieved to have gotten it out.

  That was good and all but, “Why now?”

  Sebastian reached up to his chest where my hands were resting and took them both in his and led me through to my living room then through to my bedroom and sat down on my bed, pulling me down with him. Because I was unsteady on my feet, I kind of toppled over him, pushing him back with me landing on him.

  Oh shit.

  “Whoa.” He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me as we landed. I moved to get up but he held still, his arms like a vice around me. “No, stay, please.”

  I sighed heavily and leaned into his chest, letting my weight settle against him. I closed my eyes at the sickness rolling through me at the sudden body tilt. Damn, I really shouldn’t have drunk that alcohol or maybe not so much of it.

  Sebastian was so quiet for so long that I thought I’d actually fallen asleep until his voice broke into the stillness. It was quiet and heavy, sounding like he hadn’t used it in forever. “I know I hurt you and I hate myself for it, Victoria. So many days have gone by where I’ve cursed myself and my actions because I was intensely stupid. I was not only intensely stupid to have done that callous thing in the first place but to place you in harms way and act the way I did. It was utterly unforgiveable. I now understand why you stayed away all this time.” He sighed and rubbed his hands up and down my back, soothingly.

  “I also know that if I hadn’t of had that meeting with Benjamin and Conrad, we would still be apart and I would still be in limbo. I never knew until you went away that I needed light to see in the darkness, that I missed the sun when it rained or snowed and finally how low I actually was because being with you was a high point, the highest point of my life, Victoria. Just being with you enables me to breathe, to let that breath that has been trapped in my chest to be released.” He stopped to take a shuddering breath. His hands stopped moving and clung to me as if I were a life saver in the middle of the dark blue sea.

  “Every time I closed my eyes, I saw you. I dreamed of you and what little we had together but it was enough to keep me hanging on well until a rerun of my Mother’s house came into view then you would suddenly disappear from my sight in a flash. I would wake up sweating and patting the bed bedside me, looking for you. Only then would I realise that you were never there because I kept you at arms length thinking I was doing something good for not only me but you.” His chest moved up and down heavily. “It was only when you were gone that I realised I loved you.”

  By the time he’d finished, lonely little teardrops were leaking from my eyes. I took a breath, it coming out like a sob as my heart stuttered in my chest.

  Sebastian sat up, shrugged his jacket off and re-wrapped his arms around me as
my shoulders shook. My whole body leaned into him, soaking up his warmth and the feeling that I’d been without for the past six months.

  He wasn’t the only one that had been in the darkness that had felt the stillness around them that had felt the emptiness penetrating through their body.

  I had felt it too. I just had refused to accept what the true meaning of it was.

  “I love you, Victoria.” Sebastian whispered in my hair, his voice grave. His hands rubbed up and down my back, as he pressed tiny kisses to the top of my head. “And I am truly sorry, oh so sorry.”

  My mouth opened but nothing came out. I knew I felt more for him that I had ever felt for anyone else before and I knew that if I hadn’t of felt something for him at his families home, the recording wouldn’t have hurt me as much as it had. Still did.

  I moved out of his arms and settled myself on my bed next to him. I wiped at my now soaking wet face with shaky hands and looked up at him through my blurry vision whilst biting my bottom lip. “You love me?”

  No-one other than Jenna and Rick had told me that they loved me, ever. This was foreign oh so foreign and so fucking scary.

  He nodded as he reached out to wipe my tears for me. He sucked his thumb into his mouth, taking my tears. “I didn’t realise it until afterwards, until after all the hurt and shit filled my system did I know but I know and know this,” he moved closer to me again and placed his hand on my cheek, his palm holding my face, his blue eyes staring, imploring into my hazel ones. “That I’ll never let you go again. Ever,”

  As I took a breath, a burp came up and surprised the both of us. I giggled and slapped my hand over my mouth. “Excuse me.”

  Sebastian blinked and his lips twitched. He shook his head and pulled me into his lap, holding me like I was the most precious thing on earth. Even through my drink induced fog of a brain, I could feel the heat and warmth of not only his body but his heart too.